Friday, November 22, 2013
Friday, November 15, 2013
6 Jobs Where Psychopathy is in High Demand
By Frank Waszut
1. Firefighter
You walk by a house that is on fire and hear someone screaming inside; would your first thought be:
A. Oh my god, I better grab my trac-phone to call 911 so that the firefighters can get that person out.
B. I better run in there and get him before he dies of smoke inhalation and gets the extra crispy treatment.
"Should I knock or ring the doorbell?"
If you answered A. then you are more than likely normal, work a regular 9-5 job, show up to that desk job on time, and do all of your TPS reports like a good little boy or girl while more than likely being the God fearing type. If you answered B.) then congrats, you are more than likely a psychopath as you more than likely lack fear for your own well being but luckily had parents that gave you an idea of what right and wrong is. One of the key aspects of psychopathy is genuine fearlessness which comes in handy when part of the job description is "running into burning buildings".
source: (Patrick 463) http://books.google.com/books?id=OuNdrmHcJlgC&pg=PA460&dq=historical+psychopaths&hl=en&sa=X&ei=rQOEUvXmCdSMkAec3oG4Ag&ved=0CDkQ6AEwAg#v=onepage&q=historical%20psychopaths&f=false
2. Salesmen
You know that friendly red-haired fellow that works behind the desk of your local gym that is always making you laugh your ass off at the absurdity that is Stuart Scott ripping off Drake for the sake of making a regular season Miami Heat game against the Charlotte Bobcats way more important in the Eastern Conference standings that it really is? You know the nice one that couldn't have possibly known about that clause in your contract where if your Visa card gets lost that their will be no pity for that $30 decline fee even though you were a helpess victim in the whole matter? Well in reality he really did but also knew how to deliver it to in the most minimal form while emphasizing the awesomeness of buxom blondes wearing yoga pants that come in around 5pm knowing full well that you would get you to sign on the dotted line locking you into a year long contract where the owners of the gym have your bank account by the balls while you think you got an awesome deal that everyone else gets.
"Trust me, you won't regret this."
Source: (Felthous 103) http://books.google.com/books?id=J-qzP_k__2gC&pg=PA103&dq=Psychopathic+traits+charming&hl=en&sa=X&ei=nD2EUueKN5GGkQefjYGoCQ&ved=0CGUQ6AEwCQ#v=onepage&q=Psychopathic%20traits%20charming&f=false
3. Lawyer
To anyone with a J.D., practiced law, or watched Law and Order this one should be obvious. For those that have a rose tinted perspective of lawyers, and if you do it might be wise to massage your dick in food processor for the benefit of the gene pool, you probably have never heard the saying, "there's a difference between moral and legal". That difference being morality tells kids that Santa Clause is real and legality would tell them that they are retarded and should plan on a job as a glory hole attendant in Thailand. This due to the fact that an essential part of is using a non-moral train of thought or creating a moral vacuum.
source: (Handbook of the American Association of Law Schools 182) http://books.google.com/books?id=1308AAAAIAAJ&pg=RA1-PA182&dq=Law+school+moral+vacuum&hl=en&sa=X&ei=MECEUoOVDofNkQeqi4CQBg&ved=0CGsQ6AEwBg#v=onepage&q=Law%20school%20moral%20vacuum&f=false
Now let's see. What type of person would gladly throw the concepts of morals in the an emotionless shop vac ruled by logic or would get a certain hall of fame running back off the hook for a murder rap in the face of overwhelming evidence based on race baiting and proclaiming "if it doesn't fit, you must acquit"? Oh yeah that's right:
"Sometimes a bloody glove is just a bloody glove"
Another trait of psychopathy is the lack of ability to act on or feel empathy like say for a certain blonde that was used as a practice dummy for someone's knife. Obviously the one working on his stabbing form is a psychopath but what about the one agreeing to defend him just foe economic sake?
source: (Fallon 17) http://books.google.com/books?id=omItGbELVNAC&pg=PT87&dq=Psychopath+empathy&hl=en&sa=X&ei=n1GEUuiII4fMkAe1vYCwCQ&ved=0CEkQ6AEwBA#v=onepage&q=Psychopath%20empathy&f=false
4. Doctor
Speaking of jobs that require a moral vacuum here's one you wouldn't expect but anyone that has performed open heart surgery can relate too. Here's the thing about emotions and morals; then have a tendency pushing someone to make mistakes. Now trial and error is fine if your are trying to hack some government website while getting ready to bust out your Guy Fawkes mask for your youtube channel but not so much when it means severing an artery. Keeping your emotions out of the equation allows one to focus on the task at hand of saving lives just like a firefighter. Of course it's kind of hard to sell that to someone looking to get on Medicaid.
"our doctors are will not acknowledge any emotion for you while playing Operation on you. Promise"
An emotional vacuum may lead someone to starve you in a well for a few weeks to make your skin much easier to turn into an evening gown while that someone tucks their junk in between their legs and twerks in front a mirror but it may also help them in saving your life when your arteries get clogged.
(Fallon 4) http://books.google.com/books?id=omItGbELVNAC&printsec=frontcover&dq=James+Fallon&hl=en&sa=X&ei=UpGEUqPuKITSkQeV4oHoDw&ved=0CDgQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=James%20Fallon&f=false
5. Professional Athlete
This was obviously given away a few occupations above but yes professional athletics is a job where it pays to be a psychopath. It's the difference between Michael Jordan and those that brag about owning Air Jordan's. The difference between Lebron James and Justin Bieber looking like an overly blinged tool next to Busta Rhymes in the front row. Michael Jordan was the ultimate competitor; he hated losing. He hated it more than cynics hate Candy Crush Saga. In his mind losing was the equivalent of playing 1 man 1 Pinecone covered in siracha sauce and glass shards. It's a testament to his legacy as one of the greatest athletes of all time. It's also an example of his intense narcissism which has been well documented through numerous first hand accounts of him by sports journalists. It's also a symptom of psychopathy. Luckily he chose basketball instead of contract killing or else we probably would all be all "Killed by Mike" instead of wanting to "Be Like Mike". You sick fucks.
"Jeffrey Dahmer ain't got shit on this."
6. Theoretical Physicist
You know that lowly chemistry teacher that goes on and on about how awesome thermite reactions and valence shells are. He goes on and on about the importance of Hess's law and Thermodynamics as well as how the universe is going towards greater points of entropy? Nice guy isn't he? It's such a shame about the lung cancer diagnosis huh? How's he going to afford treatment? Oh only by starting meth empire and killing the competition by such crafty means as dumping red phosphorus in hot water and trapping them in the RV on top of manipulating drug cartel vegetables into suicide bombings of Columbian nations bet setting of a bomb that's detonated with a bell on his wheel chair.
"I'm doing this for my family."
Now that is a fictional character so here's a real life one:
"Don't fuck wit me or I'll go mass-equivalent on yo ass; relatively speaking."
Yeah, Mr. Special Relativity was a psychopath in the same way that another psychopath of his time was and yes I am talking about one Adolf Hitler. However, the type of psychopathy they had went by a different name called Asperger's Syndrome which was changed from the term originally coined for it in the form of "autistic psychopathy". So what was the difference between the Holocaust and the 1921 Nobel Prize in Physics? Their adolescent years. Both had intellectual aspirations; Einstein veered towards science and mathematics and Hitler veered towards art and eventually architecture. What kept Hitler from being the next Picasso was the fact that his parents died while he was young which was highly traumatizing. The thing about people with Asperger's is that they are a lot like Pit Bulls in their temperament. If they are raised in a traumatic environment then they could become a Grand Champ in the local dog fighting circuit. If raised in a nurturing environment then they'll be sweeter than a Oreo factory drenched in honey, or bring about mathematics that makes that GPS work on your Smart Phone.
"and if you are really nice to me I might take care of that whole Grand Unified Theorem thing as well."
sources: (Zysk 33) http://books.google.com/books?id=hEbQ_O2IphkC&pg=PA33&dq=albert+einstein+aspergers&hl=en&sa=X&ei=sYeEUviHEsm6kQfv24CIAw&ved=0CDUQ6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q=albert%20einstein%20aspergers&f=false
(Klauber 54) http://books.google.com/books?id=Q6C46AptiLEC&pg=PA54&dq=aspergers+psychopathy&hl=en&sa=X&ei=kIqEUp-pF5HpkAft0YHwCw&ved=0CEAQ6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q=aspergers%20psychopathy&f=false
(Kershaw 380) http://books.google.com/books?id=KFuxqau6bdUC&pg=PA380&dq=Hitler+parents+death&hl=en&sa=X&ei=ko2EUsjnCYLdkQfPq4GoDw&ved=0CF0Q6AEwCA#v=onepage&q=Hitler%20parents%20death&f=false
Friday, November 8, 2013
Drunk Driving for Dummies...
By Frank Waszut
Traffic laws are annoying. Traffic Lights, stop signs, yield signs, speed limits, radar traps, etc make what should be a simple commute from point A to point B an adventure in a metallic/plastic box propelled by internal combustion (or electricity for all you Tesla owners out there) more of a non stop annoying reminder of why most people shouldn't be allowed behind the wheel in the first place. I'll be honest I drive like somewhat of a grandpa. I rarely exceed speed limits, obey all traffic lights no matter how often amber lights seem to be designed to go off at the exact moment I'm at the point of not being able to stop before an intersection, and I use my blinker to the point of absurdity. Saying I drive defensively would be like saying Fred Phelps is old fashioned. The reason I do so is due to:
1.
Almost looks an ad for Anonymous doesn't it? Then of course there is:
2.
Kim Chi anyone?
4.
Now that's what I call fucked in the head.
5.
Open casket and a jack o lantern possibly?
6.
He doesn't even need to squint to see the details.
Since I'm not one for sanctimonious bullshit I'll just cut to the chase and tell you what caused these photographed instances of vehicular fatality statistics; stupidity. Stupidity is the cause of all pre-mature death; especially car accidents. People do stupid things on the road ways and get turned into road lasagna; it's what keeps the oil industry rolling. Driving defensively helps to keep me rolling. It's the difference between driving by scenes like this or being scenes like this. That's not to say I am always smart behind the wheel. Actually for over 7 years I was quite stupid behind it. I was stupid behind it under one criteria that I basically had it down to a science and accomplished it in a city that basically makes it's income off of it. Of course I am talking driving under the influence; drunk driving. Long story short I use to drive drunk; a lot. Honestly, there were stretches where I would be driving home drunk more often than I did sober. I never got pulled over, never got arrested on suspicion of DUI, never hit anything besides a tree stump, and drew the ire of a few crotch rocket enthusiast when admitting to it during a debate about the stupidity that is motorcycles.
I was told many dubious things but the most entertaining to me was that, "I should walk off a pier and do the world a favor." You know you have hit a nerve when people start wishing suicide on you. Where they are wrong is in the fact that seppuku wouldn't do anyone a favor except for myself since I would be the only one that wouldn't have deal with their bitching and moaning about cops, politicians, and "Murica being taken over by the Chinese, Arabs, or whatever non-white people they are afraid of at the moment. Me yammering away about how drunk driving is awful only exacerbate a society that wants all the ammo and none of the accountability. In other words they want to live in a world where logic and reason are taboo while fantasy wins the day. It works for Hollywood but then again in the world of fiction things actually have to make sense in order to keep the audience's attention. Reality does anything but make sense just like how a narcissistic asshole like myself could get away with an act on the regular that would result in most people meeting the business end of an oak tree head first doing 60 or paying SR-22 insurance "if they are lucky" as most die-hard driver safety divas would put it. So I am going to do the world a favor now and share my tips on how to drive drunk and make it home safe if you have too much pride or too little cash to afford a cab and have no other way to make it home.
Disclaimer: This article does not advocate driving drunk anyway even though it is designed as guide for driving while under the influence of alcohol. Driving drunk is stupid. We all know that. Also it should be know that the majority of people of legal drinking age tend to do stupid shit like driving drunk. There is no stopping them and honestly the more you encourage them not to the more they tend to do it just to prove your wrong just like kids. This designed to hopefully keep some drunken idiot from turning a dumb decision into a tragic decision. My dumb decisions never turned into such atrocity which most would say is luck but as the adage goes, "luck equals skill plus opportunity".
1. Buckle your seatbelt.
This one may seem obvious but when you are hammered nothing seems obvious except having to take a piss. Take the time before calling that fat chick whom somehow now looks fuckable to buckle up. Actually if you are heading to her place for some hogging then you might want to make sure you have something to wrap it up with too since no one wants to be that guy who caught a pathogenic gift giver from that fat chick whom has been hooking up with the reformed heroine addict that has become a regular at your usual watering hole. On second thought I don't care how drunk you are; just drive home and don't fuck THAT fat chick.
2. Don't blast your radio.
Cops have ears and many cities now have noise ordinances which cops love to enforce because it gives them probable cause to pull you over and find all sorts of other ways to fuck your night up and the fact that you spent the better part of going back and forth between double Jacks on the rocks and PBR will more than likely make that desire much easier to attain. The golden rule is to not attract attention. Blasting your subs to 24 hour champagne diet is just begging for hand cuffs.
3. Avoid main roads and use side streets whenever possible.
Driving drunk should be looked upon as driving behind enemy lines since technically driving under the influence makes you the enemy of the "tax payers" whom pay the police to "protect and serve" while in reality it just pays for them to sit in their squad cars waiting for speeders while stuffing their fat faces with jelly filled fried bleach flour sacks while nagging with their other buddies in blue about the next physical evaluation on their radios. The majority of time they will do this on roads with higher traffic volumes because the law of probabilities can even be understood by those in a profession that only requires straight C's while banishing those that score too high on their entrance exams. In this case the law of probabilities says stupid people will take such roads because they offer the shortest duration of travel. That's why they always set up check points on main roads. It makes their job easier.
4. Do the speed limit.
Once again, another no brainer. Then again if you are getting behind the wheel of a car while intoxicated then you might not have much of a brain in the first place. The only thing that really kept mine functioning was non stop paranoia brought about the realization of what I was undertaking. Respect for an undertaking I find tends to delay the inevitable meeting of your corpse with an undertaker. In other wards if your blood alcohol content is potent enough to fuel and F-1 car then maybe driving like Mario Andretti would be a bad idea. Here's why:
A.) Alcohol slows down your reaction times. This means that curve that seems easy to navigate at 90mph would be like nailing to jello-o to a tree at 30mph.
B.) The most obvious sign that someone is under the influence, to a cop, is doing 30mph above the speed limit at three in the morning.
5. Don't swerve (you shouldn't even have to do this while sober).
On second thought this is the most obvious sign to 5-0 that you are have enough tequila on your breath to spit out Montezuma's revenge. What ever you do keep that car in a straight line. People tend to think that swerving is considered switching back and forth between lanes. In reality swerving is just not going into a straight line whether or not its in your lane or both lines like a four wheeled penguin. Any deviation is enough for those blue lights to come on and having a breathalyzer places in your mouth to make you look like a humanoid blowfish sucking on a tit. Unless of course...
6. Know your state's laws especially in regards to whether or not you have a choice in which test to consent too.
Now this one is tricky. First you have to be dumb enough to get behind the wheel after drinking enough to where getting pulled over would be an issue as far as whether you end the night in a bed or in a holding tank. Second it involves you ignoring my previous tidbits of advice which has led to you facing the prospect of a test of your sobriety in the first place. This automatically makes you dumber than myself because I never got pulled by a cop ever since even though I was breaking a law I never did anything to draw suspicion; obviously you did. However, this article is proof that I'm much more merciful than the justice system so let me explain a way to get out of this situation without spending a night in jail even if requested to take a test and that you are currently above the limit of .08.
So you have gotten pulled over and you have given the officer your license, registration, and proof of insurance. For some reason he suspects you have been drinking which is mostly likely due to his sense of smell and possibly due to the fact that he overheard you blasting a certain track by N.W.A. which he might not be fond of. He know starts requesting that if you would be willing to submit to a field sobriety test and hypothetically lets say you ace it but he still suspects you of driving being intoxicated above legal limits. He asks if you would be willing to submit to a breathalyzer. The common perception is you only have two options and only one outcome if you are over the limit in the form of:
Option A.) You refuse
The result: A trip to your local detention center and a suspension of your license.
Option B) You blow
The result: A trip to your local detention center and a suspension of your license.
Now you aren't drunk to the point that you did pass the field sobriety test but you are sure you are over the limit but not by much. The cop has offered for you to take a breathalyzer but has failed to inform you of other tests to confirm your blood alcohol content. You actually have two other options:
A.) A blood test
B.) A urine test
Out of these options only one is good if you hope to beat the charges which is the blood test. This is due to the fact that the cop has to take you to a facility that has the necessary equipment to administer a blood test, which is usually the nearest hospital. That means sitting in an emergency room possibly for hours on end waiting to get your blood tested. This buys time for your liver to pump that fermented naughtiness out of your system to get your BAC down to a legal level. If you're really hammered you might still be fucked but if you are not too far over the limit then it might keep you out of lock up.
With all this said driving drunk is a dumb idea but then again people still do it and if what I have written here keeps them from being more stupid behind the wheel then maybe they can make it home without running anyone over and having to pay SR-22 insurance. There's plenty of reason why not to do it but then again stupid tend to do stupid shit and this might make them aware enough to at least not do anything traumatic to anyone or themselves. Take this article as you will.
Traffic laws are annoying. Traffic Lights, stop signs, yield signs, speed limits, radar traps, etc make what should be a simple commute from point A to point B an adventure in a metallic/plastic box propelled by internal combustion (or electricity for all you Tesla owners out there) more of a non stop annoying reminder of why most people shouldn't be allowed behind the wheel in the first place. I'll be honest I drive like somewhat of a grandpa. I rarely exceed speed limits, obey all traffic lights no matter how often amber lights seem to be designed to go off at the exact moment I'm at the point of not being able to stop before an intersection, and I use my blinker to the point of absurdity. Saying I drive defensively would be like saying Fred Phelps is old fashioned. The reason I do so is due to:
1.
Almost looks an ad for Anonymous doesn't it? Then of course there is:
2.
I think I have seen something like this in the Walking Dead.
3.
Kim Chi anyone?
4.
Now that's what I call fucked in the head.
5.
Open casket and a jack o lantern possibly?
6.
He doesn't even need to squint to see the details.
Since I'm not one for sanctimonious bullshit I'll just cut to the chase and tell you what caused these photographed instances of vehicular fatality statistics; stupidity. Stupidity is the cause of all pre-mature death; especially car accidents. People do stupid things on the road ways and get turned into road lasagna; it's what keeps the oil industry rolling. Driving defensively helps to keep me rolling. It's the difference between driving by scenes like this or being scenes like this. That's not to say I am always smart behind the wheel. Actually for over 7 years I was quite stupid behind it. I was stupid behind it under one criteria that I basically had it down to a science and accomplished it in a city that basically makes it's income off of it. Of course I am talking driving under the influence; drunk driving. Long story short I use to drive drunk; a lot. Honestly, there were stretches where I would be driving home drunk more often than I did sober. I never got pulled over, never got arrested on suspicion of DUI, never hit anything besides a tree stump, and drew the ire of a few crotch rocket enthusiast when admitting to it during a debate about the stupidity that is motorcycles.
I was told many dubious things but the most entertaining to me was that, "I should walk off a pier and do the world a favor." You know you have hit a nerve when people start wishing suicide on you. Where they are wrong is in the fact that seppuku wouldn't do anyone a favor except for myself since I would be the only one that wouldn't have deal with their bitching and moaning about cops, politicians, and "Murica being taken over by the Chinese, Arabs, or whatever non-white people they are afraid of at the moment. Me yammering away about how drunk driving is awful only exacerbate a society that wants all the ammo and none of the accountability. In other words they want to live in a world where logic and reason are taboo while fantasy wins the day. It works for Hollywood but then again in the world of fiction things actually have to make sense in order to keep the audience's attention. Reality does anything but make sense just like how a narcissistic asshole like myself could get away with an act on the regular that would result in most people meeting the business end of an oak tree head first doing 60 or paying SR-22 insurance "if they are lucky" as most die-hard driver safety divas would put it. So I am going to do the world a favor now and share my tips on how to drive drunk and make it home safe if you have too much pride or too little cash to afford a cab and have no other way to make it home.
Disclaimer: This article does not advocate driving drunk anyway even though it is designed as guide for driving while under the influence of alcohol. Driving drunk is stupid. We all know that. Also it should be know that the majority of people of legal drinking age tend to do stupid shit like driving drunk. There is no stopping them and honestly the more you encourage them not to the more they tend to do it just to prove your wrong just like kids. This designed to hopefully keep some drunken idiot from turning a dumb decision into a tragic decision. My dumb decisions never turned into such atrocity which most would say is luck but as the adage goes, "luck equals skill plus opportunity".
1. Buckle your seatbelt.
This one may seem obvious but when you are hammered nothing seems obvious except having to take a piss. Take the time before calling that fat chick whom somehow now looks fuckable to buckle up. Actually if you are heading to her place for some hogging then you might want to make sure you have something to wrap it up with too since no one wants to be that guy who caught a pathogenic gift giver from that fat chick whom has been hooking up with the reformed heroine addict that has become a regular at your usual watering hole. On second thought I don't care how drunk you are; just drive home and don't fuck THAT fat chick.
2. Don't blast your radio.
Cops have ears and many cities now have noise ordinances which cops love to enforce because it gives them probable cause to pull you over and find all sorts of other ways to fuck your night up and the fact that you spent the better part of going back and forth between double Jacks on the rocks and PBR will more than likely make that desire much easier to attain. The golden rule is to not attract attention. Blasting your subs to 24 hour champagne diet is just begging for hand cuffs.
3. Avoid main roads and use side streets whenever possible.
Driving drunk should be looked upon as driving behind enemy lines since technically driving under the influence makes you the enemy of the "tax payers" whom pay the police to "protect and serve" while in reality it just pays for them to sit in their squad cars waiting for speeders while stuffing their fat faces with jelly filled fried bleach flour sacks while nagging with their other buddies in blue about the next physical evaluation on their radios. The majority of time they will do this on roads with higher traffic volumes because the law of probabilities can even be understood by those in a profession that only requires straight C's while banishing those that score too high on their entrance exams. In this case the law of probabilities says stupid people will take such roads because they offer the shortest duration of travel. That's why they always set up check points on main roads. It makes their job easier.
4. Do the speed limit.
Once again, another no brainer. Then again if you are getting behind the wheel of a car while intoxicated then you might not have much of a brain in the first place. The only thing that really kept mine functioning was non stop paranoia brought about the realization of what I was undertaking. Respect for an undertaking I find tends to delay the inevitable meeting of your corpse with an undertaker. In other wards if your blood alcohol content is potent enough to fuel and F-1 car then maybe driving like Mario Andretti would be a bad idea. Here's why:
A.) Alcohol slows down your reaction times. This means that curve that seems easy to navigate at 90mph would be like nailing to jello-o to a tree at 30mph.
B.) The most obvious sign that someone is under the influence, to a cop, is doing 30mph above the speed limit at three in the morning.
5. Don't swerve (you shouldn't even have to do this while sober).
On second thought this is the most obvious sign to 5-0 that you are have enough tequila on your breath to spit out Montezuma's revenge. What ever you do keep that car in a straight line. People tend to think that swerving is considered switching back and forth between lanes. In reality swerving is just not going into a straight line whether or not its in your lane or both lines like a four wheeled penguin. Any deviation is enough for those blue lights to come on and having a breathalyzer places in your mouth to make you look like a humanoid blowfish sucking on a tit. Unless of course...
6. Know your state's laws especially in regards to whether or not you have a choice in which test to consent too.
Now this one is tricky. First you have to be dumb enough to get behind the wheel after drinking enough to where getting pulled over would be an issue as far as whether you end the night in a bed or in a holding tank. Second it involves you ignoring my previous tidbits of advice which has led to you facing the prospect of a test of your sobriety in the first place. This automatically makes you dumber than myself because I never got pulled by a cop ever since even though I was breaking a law I never did anything to draw suspicion; obviously you did. However, this article is proof that I'm much more merciful than the justice system so let me explain a way to get out of this situation without spending a night in jail even if requested to take a test and that you are currently above the limit of .08.
So you have gotten pulled over and you have given the officer your license, registration, and proof of insurance. For some reason he suspects you have been drinking which is mostly likely due to his sense of smell and possibly due to the fact that he overheard you blasting a certain track by N.W.A. which he might not be fond of. He know starts requesting that if you would be willing to submit to a field sobriety test and hypothetically lets say you ace it but he still suspects you of driving being intoxicated above legal limits. He asks if you would be willing to submit to a breathalyzer. The common perception is you only have two options and only one outcome if you are over the limit in the form of:
Option A.) You refuse
The result: A trip to your local detention center and a suspension of your license.
Option B) You blow
The result: A trip to your local detention center and a suspension of your license.
Now you aren't drunk to the point that you did pass the field sobriety test but you are sure you are over the limit but not by much. The cop has offered for you to take a breathalyzer but has failed to inform you of other tests to confirm your blood alcohol content. You actually have two other options:
A.) A blood test
B.) A urine test
Out of these options only one is good if you hope to beat the charges which is the blood test. This is due to the fact that the cop has to take you to a facility that has the necessary equipment to administer a blood test, which is usually the nearest hospital. That means sitting in an emergency room possibly for hours on end waiting to get your blood tested. This buys time for your liver to pump that fermented naughtiness out of your system to get your BAC down to a legal level. If you're really hammered you might still be fucked but if you are not too far over the limit then it might keep you out of lock up.
With all this said driving drunk is a dumb idea but then again people still do it and if what I have written here keeps them from being more stupid behind the wheel then maybe they can make it home without running anyone over and having to pay SR-22 insurance. There's plenty of reason why not to do it but then again stupid tend to do stupid shit and this might make them aware enough to at least not do anything traumatic to anyone or themselves. Take this article as you will.
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