Thursday, January 2, 2014

Religion: A Rape Mentality

I've been accused of Atheism more times in my life than Ron Jeremy has encountered strains of HPV. This is due to the fact that accusing people of being heretics is a fast track towards being labeled un-fuck-able in this secular day and age. The reason is that coming off as a religious nut job jerkoff tends to make you come off as a rapist. The truth is if you were to label me as anything it would be agnostic with an esoteric perspective. Religion never appealed to me even though as an infant I had water dripped on my forehead in a cult meeting place Catholic Church in New Jersey. For years I was baffled as to why because at first religion sounded like an awesome idea. I mean a bunch of people getting together before noon on a Sunday morning for something not involving brunch that serves free wine and crackers in small increments. Sounds pretty fucking awesome right? (If you say yes then please die of AIDS mid-aneurysm.)

As my sarcasm should reveal I am about as fond of religion as I am of porn involving bestiality and Hobbits which I am pretty sure is how the state of Kentucky was founded. I mean packs of gullible pagans imposing their will upon defenseless animals for the sake of "their precious" sounds a bit dead on doesn't it? I mean you win a war if the strategy doesn't involve some good ole fashioned rape right? (If you feel these questions as offensive then please place your reproductive organs in a garbage disposal). Just like in football, rape involves one side "pounding it in" on the other side or otherwise "penetrating their defenses" against their will. It's a rape mentality that is shrouded in the illusions of honor and prestige. That is all religion is or ever has been. It is why we can't have nice things such as a world without war or disease. As a species we love rape too fucking much especially when it involves bombing people that doesn't embrace our politically correct rape culture.

With that said religion, just like rapists, come in varieties with the same goal. So we might as well treat religions like people, don't worry corporations you aren't forgotten, so that way we can understand what kind of rapist they are in the place where you are most likely to find them and of course it is places that serve alcohol amongst other drugs that can be bought in the bathroom stalls. With out any further ado here is each religion's rape mentality in a bar:

Protestantism: First off Protestantism advertises itself via a hippie being impaled through his limbs on a cross to die a slow and agonizing death. This is what Christianity gets off on which you'd figure for most potential rape victims would be a red flag right there but just like how all rape happens you need a victim that is gullible. Since Fox News tends to be very popular it  is pretty apparent that there are plenty of people who will take a shot from this friendly, albeit creepy individual whom is more than willing to buy you a drink and tell you how such and such liberal is the Anti-Christ. Like a frat boy with a brand new Polo Shirt, hair cut that looks like it was inspired by Josef Mengele, and of course smelling of Axe Body spray, because his family taught him to be price conscious sinceslave money does come with a spending limit.

This guy will not out right pin you down and force his way in. He is too worried about the laws of his society set upon him by "those liberals". He will still have sex with someone if they think they can get away with it whether or not that person would have consented to it or not which is highly dependent on their blood alcohol content and/or whether they can slip some "faith" (GHB) in with that Jesus Juice. Protestantism is the reason why the concept of date rape exists since it is the type of faith that will drug you to get what it wants while preaching milk and honey. They also have been quoted with such lovely pearls of wisdom as the female body having the uncanny ability to shut down a pregnancy in the event of a rape.


"I would say that women should also enjoy it but that line was already taken."

Catholicism: Unless you have been water boarded under a rock for the past 30 year this one should be obvious and is probably walking into the bar after doing some "research" at  the Toys 'R' Us boys bathroom.

 "Dear God, please keep that boy's mouth shut unless in my presence; with merlot slightly chilled."

Islam: Afraid of being held at knife point while a guy that may or may  not have AIDS forces his way inside of you? Say hello to Islam. Yeah I know such a behavior is a symptom of a thug mentality but a thug mentality is what it takes to fly two airliners into the North and South towers of the former World Trade Center. Whom was behind it doesn't matter as much as those behind the controls of the planes. Those people wanted virgins so badly that they conditioned themselves to have zero value for human life because they wanted the pussy of virgins. All they care about is what they want and use their imaginary friend as a scapegoat just as Christians do. The only difference being that Islam is way more honest about it's intentions where as Christianity is very sneaky about it. That's because anyone that even mentions a word of criticism against Islamic dogma kind of has a habit of being murdered in a fashion that would get Jeffrey Dahmer's seal of approval.

Furthermore Islam is the type of rapist that feels that having a pink hole between your legs is enough to justify sexual misconduct. While Christianity sugar coats this perspective, Islam calls their spade a spade and wants to thrust it into the nearest Jihad receptacle.

"Say it's your body one more muthafuckin time!!!"

Atheism:  I know many of you "There's no God or anything" herds will cry foul for being on this list but any cult, even those whom talk shit about cults, in essence want to impose their will upon you in some way or form. This one just claims there is no good or bad and thus it doesn't matter what it does. This may sound logical at first. It might actually make total sense; if you are a sociopath. It did for me for awhile but logically speaking this train of thought is flawed. Atheism is the type of rapist the will leave you bewildered, confused, and traumatized without offering up a rhyme or reason. Where as the rapists known as Christianity and Islam hide behind there books, Atheists hide behind what it can sparse logic with.

"There's no God, Heaven, or Hell so it doesn't matter if there is consent or not."

Southern Baptist: While technically an off shoot of Protestantism this one deserves a section all it's own. Say hello to Islam's American foil. This type of rapist can be found chugging Mountain Dew and chain smoking Marlboro Reds in your nearest trailer park meth lab. It feels the only place for a women is the kitchen, bedroom, or of course in front of a cop and a camera man, with a fresh shiner that she is using a cold can of natty light to keep the swelling down while their lovely abode on wheels is in plain view. The only difference between it and Islam is the degree of malice and of course the fact that Baptists hate Islam almost as much as they hate homosexuals. This kind of rapist can also be found on Maury Povich claiming that he isn't the father despite the test results just because she might be into black guys. If seen in your drinking vicinity be keen on avoiding isolated areas that are out of view of security cameras.

"Is struggle snuggle a politically correct term?"

Mormonism: Not satisfied with subjugating one women to intellectual misconduct, Mormonism ups the ante by forcing itself into the minds of as many women as possible at the same because what can you do with only one slave? This is the type of rapist that wears business suits, speaks of Jesus being in Missouri, and keeping their victims women in binders. You have to keep mind rape organized now a days, especially when your belief is basically a Freemason 'Murican twist on Christianity. Quite honestly if you wanted a religion that was dead set on raping our entire species and capable of pulling it off you could probably bet the house on this one. They'll even put the winnings in an offshore account to avoid those pesky taxes which brings me too.....

Free Market Capitalism: Before you even think of rolling your eyes go look at the back of a dollar bill; I'll wait. Are you back? Good. Yes our nation is built upon the concept of keeping church and state separate and if you're smart you'll realize that the concept is more fake than Taylor Swift's personality. Where as Mormonism has sought to rape our species mentally, free-market capitalism has raped our species literally. It's the reason why we can't have nice things without mandatory arbitration agreements since fucking you over isn't enough but it also has to make it where they give you the illusion of choices except those choices are either to be rape in the ass or mouth. Just look at what happens on Black Friday and tell me that I'm wrong.

"What do you mean corporations are fucking the people against their will?"

Buddhism: I've thought long and hard about this one but honestly the very fact that Buddhists actually can practice celibacy without violating pre-pubescent boys that we know of kind of gives me hope that this one might have the right idea even though it is still technically a cult. It may stare at you creepily for hours on end; then again it might just be meditating.

"What's a tit?"

Satanism: Imagine Protestantism but instead of GHB you get shit loads of cocaine, bondage, knives, blood play, and Marilyn Manson running on a constant loop. In other words imagine Protestantism with AIDS. Actually cocaine goes for the rest besides Buddhism which denounces drug use and Islam which has opium since they need something to mellow after their daily bomb vesting Jihad.

"Passed out means consent right?"

While their methods may very just about every religion (since I don't have probable cause on Buddhism yet) in some way promotes a rape mentality. It's what makes people retarded since it fucks their minds during infancy thanks to bad parenting. Yes, parents mentally fuck their kids and they do it all the time, they just call it Santa Claus and it's why most kids are rapist cunts in the making. At least the Islamic kids grow up to provide entertainment of the explosive variety. Maybe one day parents will eventually come up with the idea of letting their kids figure shit out on their own instead of passing on their Stockholm Syndrome bred techniques.

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