Guys treat their dicks like their dogs. Ever notice that? When they are young and all it knows is to pee on things we pet it and go, "Oh, what are you? I like you."
Once we get old enough to realize its designed for more than just peeing we have to keep it on a leash because it's always trying to jump into things and getting us into trouble. We do this despite all the abuse we do to it while it sits in our lap.
Then as we get older and learn how to find cat owners we want to play with we actually have to get it to stand up. Like we actually have to talk to it, "GET UP OFF THE COUCH!!! We're going for a walk; we have some trouble you can jump into."
Then as we get really old we realize it's days are numbered and we have to watch it go to sleep forever and we cry :(.
Yet you don't see Sarah McClachlan doing a song about my dick....