Monday, August 12, 2013
Male and Female Translations
Men and women are a lot alike except for the obvious physical aspects that drive our procreative processes as a species. We like to think that we are different but this is more due to socioeconomic conditioning that it is a result of genetics; especially in regards to sex. Media, religion, college, or any other form of indoctrination would lead you believe that woman and men are different. That we think differently. The truth is that we have just been programmed differently. This has lead to the train of thought that a man that sleeps with many women is a stud while a woman that sleeps with many men is a slut. Technically this is true but not in the form of any lack of morals or intelligence. Both just understand sex for what it is; a drug. It's a drug that is highly addictive; even more so than nicotine or survival. It's also a drug that is misunderstood by the overwhelming majority of humanity. Honestly, I feel it was the result of some insecure men that had the ability getting the masses to buy into that line of thought. Who knows?
With that said the mating habits of homo sapiens have become quite convoluted as result of this flawed programming that we call human civilization. There are many people that feel the way I do and also think the civilization needs to be wiped out and started anew with a clean slate. I think that train of thought is flawed as well since wiping out any program means that another would have to be started up which would inherently have flaws as result of x factors brought about by human nature. A better idea would be to just work out the kinks or the bugs; the flaws in the programming. In the case of human civilization the flaw is human or more precisely our egocentric nature that we have as a whole. In each of our own little ways we yearn to be the center of our own universes and to be the king of kings like Ozymandias. What most don't realize is that such hubris, as the tale of Ozymandias was a cautionary tale about, can have traumatizing consequences.
We see it in society all the time where guys want sex and so do women but when men don't get it they feel like less of a man and when women have it they don't want to feel like a slut. This is what leads to the illusory war of the sexes except their doesn't need to be a war. Guys and Girls are suppose to fuck, not hurt each other (Unless you are one of those BDSM types that are into being choked, scratched, whipped with belts, spanked, and choked with belts. If you are a lady that is one of those types and don't carry any major diseases then contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org). That is why we rape in all its forms happen because men are programmed to be tyrants while women are programmed to be victims. With that said I have been with plenty of women that ranged from "Hell-no" to "Fuck-able" to "Brag-able". Some have been able to circumvent their programming while others have fallen for it faster than Kim Kardashian's cervix on a pro athletes' dick. They all speak the same language that I called "women" while men usually speak the one called "stupid".
As a result I decided to provide guide to translate from "women to stupid" and "stupid to women" with the hope that understanding might alleviate a lot of the animosity brought about by socioeconomic brainwashing and bad parenting. The first section is for the guys with the "women to stupid" section followed by the "stupid to women" section:
Women to Stupid:
1. Women: "You can take a shower with me but we aren't having sex."
Translation: "I want to have sex with you because I really like you but I don't want to feel like a slut so just go along with it and if you're a good boy I might just give you a surprise."
Explanation: If a women invites you to take a shower and drops this line then do yourself by shutting the fuck up and go along with it while smiling and saying "Ok". That should seriously be the only word that comes out of your mouth because the deal is already in the envelope, waiting to be sealed, and she is just waiting to see if you are dumb enough to be THAT asshole that is only looking for sex. You might only be looking for sex but she doesn't have to know that since she wants to have sex with you too. She just doesn't want to feel like a slut afterwards even if she is a slut. Women view being a slut in the derogatory sense since women love to gossip and find any other reason to belittle other women to feel better about themselves, just like guys do. It's just more socially acceptable for them to do. So if you want to unleash that flesh torpedo on her Red October then shut up and don't give away your position and it will happen on its own. Sometimes it might not, but at least then she knows she can naked around without having to feel like your going to jump her which can lead to exponentially more opportunities at coitus.
2. Women: (when she has been flirting with you and you ask for her number) "I have a boyfriend (or husband)."
Translation: "I am currently tied down by someone that is a total turn off, doesn't treat me right, hardly has sex with me anymore, and when we do have sex it is about as exciting as changing a tampon. You seem like a breath a fresh air and I want to see if you actually have the balls to back your game up."
Explanation: This one is tricky for many reasons for more so than the fact that the prospect of monogamy is more of a label than a commitment. On one side that pretty much knocks her from being relationship material unless of course she is looking for an open relationship or is in one. Other factors to be taken into consideration is whether her husband is just some guy that works at the local or if he is retired Marine corps sniper that could blow your head off .50 bullet from half a mile out. Also this could mean that she isn't exactly the honest type which means you definitely need to ask her about her health status in regards to STD's. It really depends on how bad you want to have sex with her and how much you are willing to risk but then again you're not going to live forever.
I have had plenty of situations like this but one stands out in particular with this gorgeous women that I met at a local Charleston bar that looked like a latin version of Scarlett Johansson. She dropped this line on me after I spent an hour removing the proverbial foot from my mouth since I asked her about a tattoo she had on her wrist which was when she informed me that it was in memory of her deceased mother. After spending a full second contemplating a retort a responded with, "That's ok. So what's your number?"
While she didn't give me her number she did add me on Facebook which led to her giving me her number which then led to some of the best sex of my life with her and let me tell you she was the on that turned me onto the whole domination and bdsm thing. The whole point is there is difference between persistence and desperation. If she repeatedly says no then move on to the next girl but it doesn't hurt to go a ask once again because she might just be testing you. Women want to fuck a man, not a scared little boy.
3. Women: "I'm not that kind of girl."
Translation: "I love to fuck but I'm a not slut even if I am a slut. Try getting to know me a little. Get my last name at least."
Explanation: Every heterosexual woman is THAT type of girl. This goes back the previous statement that women like to have sex but don't want to be viewed as sluts. If she says this then don't get defensive or have a sudden change in mood. Just play it off like its no big deal because she is more than likely testing. I have lost count of how many times this line has been dropped on me only to have sex with such women later. The very fact that she even says it means that she is thinking about having sex with you so just play along, ask questions that get her to talk about herself, and you will be stacking the odds in your favor. As long as she thinks you are a chill and fun guy then these panties will more than likely be coming off eventually. Women don't like guys that are desperate and/or pushy.
Stupid to Women:
Those are a few examples of what guys run into but in all fairness women have a hard time dealing with men especially when they get stupid and start using stupid pick up lines so here is a run down of pick up lines or things guy's say to women they are attracted to:
-"I like that dress."
-"What's your name?"
-"Do you need help with that?"
-"Can I buy you a drink?"
-"How do you like your eggs?"
-(with a sugar packet in hand) "You dropped your name tag."
-"Nice shoes. Want to fuck?" (at least it's honest)
-"I love your eyes."
- "What's your name?"
Translation: "I'm a guy and hardwired to attempt to have sex with the first person with a vagina that is attractive and has a pulse (unless you idolize Gary Ridgeway)"
The bottom line is that men and women are both hard wired for sex but due to conditioning via society men have an illusory pedestal over women that holds them less accountable to social stigmas and dogmas than women are and yes ladies I do realize it is bullshit. It's bullshit because I could get laid much more if most of you were not so brainwashed or gullible to brainwashing. Bear in mind their are many more lines from both sides but the guiding theory of mine is that if guys actually look at women as human beings instead of masturbatory aids then they would get laid more and if women wouldn't be as self conscious about what other things then they wouldn't be as miserable. My two cents.