The N-word

 So I started doing standup comedy at a bar called Joe Pasta’s on Tuesday nights. The first night doing it I noticed there was definitely an issue which has become a hedge for any sort of socioeconomic harmony in our society. It’s a word that has roots in one of the darkest stages in the development of our nation and world abroad. It says a lot about our species. How ugly it can be, ho...w ugly it was, and how ugly it still is.
There was a guy, African-American or mixed possibly for accuracy sake, that got on stage and made his case for why white people should be allowed to use the N-word.

Given the fact that I live in THE town whose history overlaps with that word abundantly you can only imagine how well that went over given the fact that the host is a 6’4 230 lb African-American Male whom looks like Mr. Clean with a goatee trimmed to a Montel Williams level of precision. To his credit he kept his cool but made it abundantly clear that the use of that word was not cool. I got where the guy whom was making the case for all the pale faces out there was coming from even if he went about it the wrong way.

Race is still an issue in this country which goes to show how slowly we have evolved as ‘Muricans and now a days everyone seems to have an itchy trigger finger when it comes to dealing with any issue regarding to race. Personally, I feel it’s gotten to the point where issues of Civil and Human rights have degenerated into race-baiting. It’s quite moronic given the fact that there are greater prejudices taking place, i.e. prejudices against those with neurological quirks such as psychopathy and autistic disorders. Let’s be honest, racism has gone from a legit civil rights issue to a marketing gimmick, unless you get pulled over by the cops. To me it’s nothing more than a joke and those who still base their lives on race are really depriving themselves of a fun sex life. If you are curious I have a preference for mixed race women because it’s like the mixed martial arts of pussy; all the best parts without the defects since they deal with racism on all sides and tend to be the odd ones out which I can relate to, and use for the purposes of seduction.

Also I have actually been on many sides of the race issue, i.e. African-Americans calling me “cracka”, getting pulled over by North Charleston cops under the assumption I was selling a 14 year African-American drugs even though in reality I was just getting Taco-Bell for his older sister that I was hooking up with, having one of the hottest girls I have ever slept with in my life (1/2 Mexican, ¼ African American, and ¼ Native American) getting pissed off at me for having sex with a chick not due to the actual act but due to the fact that said girl was racist, etc. Bottom line I live in a town where racism is basically an underlying socio-economic factor to it’s infrastructure.

It’s part of why I call Charleston the “Inertia City Brought to you By the Bible and Firefly Vodka” and why Tucker Max said that the State of South Carolina was built from “blood and cotton”.
Don’t get me wrong I’m no saint when it comes to the issues of race and have said things that I’m not exactly proud of and it was under the logic that white people use now a days to complain about why they can’t say the N-Word anymore. We’ve all heard it and while at first the logic seems sound it becomes over time why it is faulty besides the fact that it will more than likely get your social life down the drain faster than Michael Richard’s career. The logic goes like this:

White People: “Well if black guys can say it then why can’t we say it.”

This basically goes along with the whole reverse racism argument that White Anglo Saxon Protestant’s preach and it’s fucking stupid. These are the same jerk offs that are afraid of everything including multiple sex partners, recreational use of class 1 controlled psychoactive narcotics, how they look in the mirror, their quinoa being over cooked, and whether their tampons are environmentally friendly while throwing them out the side window of their Toyota Priuses while frantically trying to find a parking spot for the Dave Matthews concert. These are the same people that cite every instance of black-on-white crime whenever George Zimmerman or Trayvon Martin is brought up in regards to African-Americans being racist. My response:

“NO SHIT THAT MOST OF THEM ARE RACIST!!! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK TRAINED THEM SO WELL? THEY ARE GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS IN THAT JUST LIKE THEY DO IN EVERY OTHER SPORT THAT MATTERS IN THIS COUNTRY!!!!”

I mean white people complaining about racism would be a lot like Jerry Sandusky complaining about having a bleeding asshole after washing off in the prison showers. I mean I’m a third generation American and my ancestors came thru Ellis Island. None of mine owned cotton plantations or used slave labor due to the fact the we never came from a privileged sect of society. Also when the slave trade is brought up no one mentions the Irish and how much their people have been shit on by Protestants through the centuries by forced servitude. It doesn’t matter when you are constantly bombarded by the fact that of the suffering of your great-great-great grandparents from the first grade through high school till college especially when you live in this part of the country. It’s why although Chris Rock was born in Georgetown, SC he doesn’t frequent it, and why “Smokin” Joe Frazier got out of Beaufort, SC when he did. They realized how retarded the concept of racism is especially when you take into account the fact that skin color is nothing more than an evolutionary adaptation to Ultra-Violet light. It’s why people indigenous to places closer the equator have darker skin tone and why people further from it have lighter ones. That’s all it is. The rest is just cultural conditioning and programming; brain washing if you will.

With that said this is why the N-word needs to do what it should have done the day Martin Luther King Jr. gave his famous (albeit plagiarized) “I Have A Dream Speech”. It needs to be allowed to die and laid to rest only to be read about in the history books as a reminder of how ugly we can be and have been in our past so that we don’t repeat it in the future, because no matter how open minded we are that word is always going to hurt. Look at all the damage that it caused. Maybe once that word is allowed to die we’ll finally start judging people based on their character; like we are supposed to. Maybe then we’ll stop being an even uglier N-word; NAÏVE.