Friday, December 13, 2013

"Watching" Porn...

So apparently the new "in" thing for people that are jumping on the Miley Cyrus wanna-be hoe wagon is bragging about how they "watch" porn. This is just another example of stupid human behaviors that has caught on with the gullible masses of 'Murica. It's a stupid thing to brag about and not for ideological reasons based on fairy tales such as America being the "Land of the Free"  or that Jesus Christ was a real person. I can go on and on about how bragging about watching porn is stupid beyond all reason and doubt  but I don't have to. I can point out one simple fucking reason as to why people that brag about such a thing that makes your laptop a club house for mal-ware and Trojan horses that attempts to trick you into sending $400 to the F.B.I. because it claims there is child porn on your computer is fucking retarded. One simple reason:


NOBODY WATCHES PORN!!!!!!

People WATCH NASCAR..

People WATCH Modern Family...

People WATCH Breaking Bad or the Walking Dead...

People WATCH Jeopardy.....

I don't go on Google to find the latest episode of Alex Trebek asking 40 year old virgin librarians meaningless questions about Edgar Allen Poe's drinking habits and how it led to the creative process involving "The Raven" so that I can make my uncircumcised cock do pushups till it throws up. If I did though I would probably have to give myself enough time to recover so I could shoot a Daily Double into a slightly moistened paper towel.

 "Don't forget about saving some for Final Jeopardy involving historical events in the Opium Trade."
 
 
 
People MASTERBATE to porn. Watching is just a small fraction of the self imposed ejaculatory process. That fraction involves watching such things as my favorite porn stars getting dicked over by cocks that look like they were transplanted from a horse. It involves watching Lacey Duvalle fucking "some mechanic" on a stack of tires for AssesInPublic.com or watching Jessica Bangkok getting jizz covered like a glazed doughnut on fuckedupfacials.com. It doesn't involve grasping further understanding the subliminal themes in regards to our socioeconomic infrastructure when Veronica Avluv takes on 5 guys on a "sport team" at the same time on Brazzers.com. The only part where where my eyes are involved is to keep track of how wet Oliva O'Lovey's labia gets while she is fucking a fellow male porn star in a barber shop while Lacey Duvalle and Jenaveve Jolie help out by properly servicing the rest of the male "customers". 
 
Bottom line is porn is a masturbatory aid that is designed to help you out when your usual booty calls are busy and you don't want to act desperate to the point of making them feel objectified by the label. It involves as much thought process as taking a flaming dump from those Smoking Buffalo Wings from Kicken Chicken 8 hours prior. It's about keeping your sexual urges from driving you nuts. That's it. That's all there is to it. "Watching" actually requires sitting and listening (or paying attention to closed captioning if you are hard of hearing) and the last time I checked I usually kept my porn on mute because I didn't exactly need to risk waking up the person in the next room because they can't stand the sound of Gianna Michaels saying, "Cum on my fucking face".
 
I MASTERBATE to Porn.

I "WATCH" Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman because that shit is enlightening and Morgan Freeman does alot of things for me but giving me an urge to shoot testicular proto fluid isn't one of them.


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